Before we dive in, we know you’re already carrying so much as a parent. This isn’t meant to be another thing to worry about — it’s simply something worth having on your radar so that you feel equipped to support your child should they need it.
Parents, does any of this sound familiar?
👉 Your child has said “I want to start eating healthier”
👉 They’ve started preparing more of their meals or controlling family dinners
👉 They regularly say they’re not hungry and that they’ve already eaten
👉 They’ve started showing a sudden interest in food, what’s being cooked, ingredients and nutrition labels
👉 They’re going to the gym or exercising more often than usual, or you’ve found them exercising in private
If any of this sounds familiar, take a breath — it doesn’t automatically mean your child is experiencing disordered eating. Most young people go through a phase of caring more about food or fitness, and it’s not always an immediate cause for concern.
So how do you tell the difference?
It’s less about what your child is doing and more about how they’re doing it. Healthy interest tends to be flexible, social and open, whereas disordered eating tends to be rigid, secretive and driven by anxiety or fear rather than curiosity.
As parents, the early signs of disordered eating can be easy to miss — not because we’re not paying attention, but because these shifts often blend into the everyday chaos of our kids growing up. What matters most is knowing when something might need a second look, and how to respond in a way that helps your child feel supported and understood.
A quick note on terms
‘Disordered eating’ and ‘eating disorder’ aren’t quite the same thing, and having disordered eating doesn’t necessarily mean your child will develop an eating disorder. Disordered eating is the broader, more common one: things like rigid food rules, anxiety around meals or over-exercising, which don’t necessarily add up to a diagnosed condition like anorexia nervosa or bulimia. But it’s also where most eating disorders start, which is exactly why it’s worth paying attention early, because noticing early is what keeps it from becoming serious.
Here are some of the key signs that are worth taking notice of…
Changes in eating or exercise habits
Notice if they are skipping meals, avoiding certain foods/food groups, or suddenly becoming strict about what, when or how much they eat. Alongside this, keep an eye out for a sudden increase in physical activity as well as secretive exercise.
Note: this is different from generally harmless behaviours such as deciding to eat more veggies or taking up a new sport.
Increased body commentary
Notice if they are talking more about weight, shape or appearance, or comparing themselves negatively with others online or in real life.
Note: as self-consciousness can be common for young people, watch out for body commentary or comparisons that are constant, distressing or driving other behaviours like food restriction.
Avoiding food-related situations
Notice if they are backing out of social events that involve eating, including family meals, parties and social gatherings.
Note: young people experience fluctuations in their appetite while they are developing, so occasional comments like “I’m not that hungry, I’ll eat later” are not an immediate red flag. If there is a pattern of ongoing avoidance or visible anxiety about attending, there may be something deeper going on.
Emotional distress around food
Notice if they are showing increased signs of anxiety, irritability or overwhelm before, during or after meals.
Noticeable shifts in mood/energy
Notice if they are withdrawing, feeling low, showing fatigue or having trouble concentrating (more than the average teen!).
What to do next
If any of these behaviours feel familiar, your child might be struggling, and you don’t have to wait until it becomes more serious to step in.
The most useful thing you can do right now is understand what’s normal, what’s not and how to respond well. That’s exactly what Nourish, Nurture, Notice is for. The program (developed in partnership with Eating Disorders Families Australia) is fully funded and can be accessed at no cost to you.
Here’s how it works:
1. Watch the 30-minute video masterclass in your own time to learn more
2. Register for a drop-in session where you can get direct support from a paediatric dietitian and parents who’ve been there
You can learn more and access the program here.
When to seek immediate help
Some signs mean it’s time to contact a GP or a health professional straight away:
👉 Rapid weight loss or gain
👉 Fainting, dizziness or extreme fatigue
👉 Signs of purging (such as frequent bathroom trips after meals)
👉 Extreme distress or anger around food or exercise
👉 Any mention of self-harm
If you’re seeing any of these, please don’t wait — reach out to your GP or contact the Butterfly National Helpline (1800 33 4673) for guidance and referral. If it’s a medical emergency, call 000.
