Body image challenges aren’t something that suddenly appear in the teenage years. Even though body dissatisfaction may peak from the ages of 11-14, it starts being shaped from the very beginning of our lives. The things we can say and do with two-year-olds about body image look completely different from what a 14-year-old needs, so here are our top tips to help support your child’s body image at every age.
Body image tips for parents of babies and toddlers (0-2 years)
At this age, body image isn’t a conversation, but the tone you use, the way you handle feeding and how you talk about your own body all lay the groundwork, long before your child understands a single word.
1️⃣ Talk to them about their body in terms of functionality, not appearance. Narrate what their body does (such as “strong legs for kicking” or “busy hands”), rather than commenting on what it looks like
2️⃣ Let feeding be led by them. Respecting fullness cues and refusals early builds their trust within their own bodies. Responding to their body’s cues is much more beneficial for them than pushing them to have “just one more mouthful”. You can find more on responsive feeding here
3️⃣ Watch how you talk about your own body out loud. While they may not understand the words yet, they still register your tone towards your own body, and what you model now becomes their baseline
Body image tips for parents of preschoolers (3-5 years)
Children as young as three have already internalised ideas about bodies and appearance, so this is the age where the seeds of body appreciation can be planted more deliberately.
1️⃣ Skip the comments (both positive and negative) about your own body and other people’s. We want to teach kids that bodies are not something to be monitored or evaluated
2️⃣ Protect their connection to their hunger and fullness cues. Comments like “you can’t leave the table until you finish your dinner” or “you’ve had enough” chip away at a kid’s ability to trust their own signals. Let their appetite fluctuate and give them room to listen to their body
3️⃣ Normalise diversity and variation. Point out diversity everywhere — not just in people — like the way dog breeds and flower species all vary in their own way. When kids grow up expecting variation as the norm, difference stops registering as something ‘wrong’
With little ones, body image might not come up often in direct conversation, but picture books are a great way to plant the seeds early. You can see our favourites here.
Body image tips for parents of primary school kids (6-12 years)
There are plenty of developmental changes that occur throughout these years, and it’s a time when the outside world (including peers and media) starts to compete with what you’re teaching at home, so it’s a good time to get ahead of the narrative surrounding bodies, food and movement.
1️⃣ Get ahead of negative messages. Kids start absorbing diet culture language from peers and media around now, so try to instil simple reminders at home, such as:
– All bodies are good bodies
– What your body can do is so much more important than how it looks
– Your body is the least interesting thing about you
2️⃣ Interrupt comparison early. Around the age of 9, they start to develop the capacity to compare themselves with others, and around ages 10 and 11, kids become much more aware of the perspectives of others — particularly their friends and peers — and friends start to overtake the influence of family. Remind them that they are unique and special just as they are, they don’t need to look/be/act like their friends to fit in, and the way they look is the least interesting thing about them
3️⃣ Normalise the fact that bodies are meant to change over time. Bodily changes need to be expected rather than alarming, so as to avoid self-consciousness around their appearance being heightened when their body inevitably changes — in puberty and throughout their life. You can find advice for navigating body changes during puberty here
Body image tips for parents of teenagers (13-18 years)
In adolescence, young people tend to become increasingly self-conscious about their bodies. A developmental phase called ‘egocentrism’ (where it feels like everyone is looking at them all the time), combined with valuing what their friends think about them, as well as their changing bodies, can lead to a perfect storm of insecurities around appearance. In addition to this, the external messages and social media influence all ramp up during these years, so your job shifts from shielding your child from every outside influence, to equipping them to navigate it critically.
1️⃣ Separate body talk from self-worth. Puberty changes and social comparison are front and centre now, so be sure to keep self-worth conversations anchored somewhere other than appearance, such as on their skills, personality or talents. Ask them what they like about themselves, what they are proud of themselves for, and praise them based on their perseverance and the effort they put into things, not just the result
2️⃣ Address social media directly, don’t just restrict it. Ask questions about filters and editing and talk openly about how diet culture and wellness marketing show up in their feed. Restriction alone doesn’t address the problem, but teaching media literacy and critical thinking skills does. The earlier we can give young people the permission to block or ignore the things that make them feel bad about themselves, the better. You can find more advice on navigating social media here
3️⃣ Support their growing autonomy, even when it means they’ll make choices about food, movement or their appearance that you might not. Remain the safe, non-judgemental person they can come back to, and keep reinforcing that their identity and worth is never tied to how they look
The common thread across all age groups
Across every age and stage, the same principles apply: modelling body confidence to our young people and creating a safe and inclusive environment will help them take on the overall messages that:
– Everybody is accepted
– Their appearance is the least interesting thing about them
– They can engage in health behaviours to look after their body because they appreciate what it can do, rather than what it looks like
Want more support to help raise children who are comfortable and confident in their bodies? You can find more advice like this in the Embrace Kids book. With chapters for parents on understanding your own journey, appreciating your own body and creating a positive home environment, as well as tackling diet and fashion trends, friendship issues and social media challenges, Embrace Kids is full of evidence-informed suggestions and supportive, practical advice. You can find out more and buy your copy here.
