Got questions? Dr Zali has the answers! Internationally recognised body-image expert Dr Zali brings calm, evidence-based guidance to those 3am parenting worries.
With so many messages about bodies, beauty and worth coming at my kids, it doesn’t feel like they hear me anymore. How do I know I’m having an impact?
Jennifer, Canberra
The million-dollar question! Every parent wonders whether they’ve done enough to help their kids grow up healthy and balanced. The fact that you’re asking tells me you are having an impact. Parents who worry about getting it right are usually doing what matters most: avoiding negative self-talk, modelling kindness, and paying attention to the media their kids consume. It might not feel like it’s sinking in when your child rolls their eyes, but your actions are shaping their world. Look for small signs: calling out unfair messages in the media, standing up for friends, enjoying food and movement without guilt, or coming to you with their worries. These moments show they’re developing compassion and confidence. Keep showing up and helping them feel safe, loved and worthy. Your steady presence matters more than you know.
Perimenopause has hit and I’m being critical about my changing body. I’m worried my teen daughters are soaking it up. How can I stay positive for them?
Alicia, Newcastle
This is such a common, yet rarely spoken, worry. Your body is going through its own version of puberty right as your daughters are going through theirs. That’s a lot of change under one roof! Perimenopause can be a powerful moment to model a compassionate relationship with your body — not because it feels wonderful, but because you’re showing what respect and care look like. Focus on kind actions: wearing comfy clothes, trying movement that feels good, resting when needed, and appreciating what your body can do. Say the quiet thoughts out loud to show them (and you) it’s ok: “My body’s doing exactly what midlife bodies are meant to do,” or “I don’t always love how it looks, but I’m grateful for how it carries me.” You don’t have to be a perfect role model, just a real one who keeps returning to respect, compassion and gratitude.
I can’t afford all the ‘healthy’ foods, sports and activities I see other families providing. How can I help my kids develop a good body image when money’s tight?
Bryan, Busselton
This is a heavy load, and you’re not alone. The wellness industry pushes us to spend big, but the best things for our health often cost very little. Your values, words and the tone you set around food and bodies matter far more than anything with a price tag. So focus on what you can control:
– Create a relaxed, shame-free space around food and movement
– Share budget-friendly foods, like frozen veg, canned beans, legumes and tuna
– Move for joy. Walks, park plays and dancing all count
If your kids notice a difference to other families, be honest but reassuring: “Money’s tight right now, but that’s not your fault. There are so many ways we can nurture our bodies and have fun.”
This is an excerpt from the Embrace magazine. Download your free copy here to find more expert advice and guidance like this.
